The Game

A friend of mine lent me The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists.

The book is bound to look like a Bible, as if it is the definitive guide to picking up women. It isn't. But it is an entertaining and popular-selling collection of stories about how the author (Neil Strauss) became a guru on the subject.

There isn't really any secret society, or even any secrets. You can find similar info in the self-help section of your bookstore, or in seminars, or on the internet for free. If you are interested, you can start at this site. Here are some of the main ideas:

Confidence. You need confidence to approach and date attractive women, and they like men who know what they are doing. With practice, you can acquire the confidence.

Numbers. If you approach a lot of women, then your chances of finding mutual attraction are vastly improved.

Avoiding being a chump. Frequently a man get fixated on some woman, and expend a lot of energy trying to figure out why she is rejecting him. He may never figure it out. The books say to just forget her and move on.

Learning to flirt. There are a lot of flirting tips. The experts suggest everything from corny lines and jokes to magic tricks. You can tell stories, make conversation, or entertain the women any way you can. If she likes you, then she may go out on a date with you. Besides learning how to indicate interest in a woman, it is also important to read her signals so you can assess how interested she is in you.

Advanced techniques. Some experts promote NLP and other techniques. One of the ideas is that people often communicate their feelings in very subtle ways. These things seem to come naturally to some people. I suppose that they can be learned as well. I am not sure whether there is really much payoff to these methods.

One counter-intuitive tip is playing hard-to-get. I don't know whether women learn to play hard-to-get from their parents, friends, magazines, or what, but they all seem to know how to do it. Men don't. Apparently playing hard-to-get works for women and men. It is a little tricky, as you can also lose dates that way.

The book is amusing. Maybe I'll get some dating tips.