Real Moxie

Woebegone troglodyte hermitage.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Tips for married men

Scott Haltzman's "The Secrets of Happily Married Men" has these tips:
Tell your wife you adore her.
Suggest an activity that's fun.
Do your share of child care.
Do your part with chores.
Listen without judging.
Praise her.
Support her interests.
Say, "I understand," when she expresses her emotions.

The standard advice for bungling husbands is to go with their wives to a marriage counselor, but Haltzman disagrees. He's a marriage counselor who advises men to beware of marriage counseling. While other therapists urge men to get in touch with their feelings and empathize with their wives', Haltzman figures this is a losing game because their brains aren't wired for it.

They can't express their emotions or empathize as well as women can. Telling a man to solve his marital problems by talking about his emotions for an hour is like telling a woman to solve her problems at the office by joining the guys for a weekend game of paintball.
I am not sure about his reasoning, but I do have the impression that marriage counselors do more harm than good.