Livestock will face certain death

Here is an urgent message:

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA
619 AM CDT MON AUG 29 2005

EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA MOVING ACROSS LOWER PLAQUEMINES PARISH

DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED

THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE.

HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW POSSIBLY TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. MANY WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT.

AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK.

POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED.

Wow! This is by far the scariest government message I have ever seen.

Personals jargon

I've been reading some personal ads, and learning the jargon. They use funny terms like chemistry and drama. Here is what I have decoded so far.

Curvy is one of many euphemisms for a fat woman. Another is BBW. I am not sure what BBW stands for, but I think it is Big B. Woman where the 2nd B stands for some body part. People usually conceal their negative factors, but many woman find a way to disclose that they are overweight. Sometimes they'll give a weight or a dress size.

420 friendly means a marijuana smoker who wants to date another smoker.

LTR means Long Term Relationship. Usually it means marriage, but people are reluctant to mention marriage.

NSA means No Strings Attached. This means a casual encounter, the opposite of an LTR.

Chemistry means sexual excitement. Some women highly value the sexual part of the relationship, and some don't. The ones that do usually put the word "chemistry" somewhere in the ad.

Drama refers to stories about personal problems. Some people want to hear them, and some don't. A woman who commonly blows situations out of proportion might be called a "drama queen".

Baggage means leftover problems from past relationships.

There are a couple of terms that I haven't figured out yet. Some women say "no games", and yet they seem to want to play games as much as everyone else. I guess they prefer some types of games over some other types, but I'm not sure what.

Another odd phrase is "partner in crime". I thought that maybe it means that they do illegal drugs or like wild adventures or something like that, but I cannot seem to get a straight answer from anyone.

The mad cow indicator

I went on 2 dates with this woman who was suspicious of me because I said I was politically conservative. I didn't think anything of her suspicions because I live in a left-wing town where most people are suspicious of conservatives. (I also exchanged some emails and phone calls, but that's all.)

It turns out that she had a previous boyfriend who was conservative, and she was annoyed by his poor performance in bed and his lack of concern for mad cow disease. So when I said that I didn't worry about mad cow disease, it triggered alarm bells, and she decided that I'd probably be lousy in bed!

Hmmm. I'll have to get used to dating again.

Google Earth

The new Google Earth service is amazing. I live in the woods, with nearby ridges, gulches, lakes, meadows, quarries, and other features that are unknown to people living just two miles away. If you have a fast computer and an interest in geography, get it immediately. It is free and it's cool.