Real Moxie

Woebegone troglodyte hermitage.

Friday, June 02, 2006

Tuna sandwich, no tuna

I just went out on a date with a psychotherapist. At the end of the date, she said that I needed work, and suggested counseling. She said that I was particular hard on the waiter.

She would not say that I was "crazy", and she denies that there are any crazy people.

Here is what happened. We went on a walk, and then stopped at a local vegetarian student hangout for some food. The diner was her choice, as she was dying to eat some of their corn dogs. The menu described meatless meatballs and fake bacon BLT sandwiches. I don't know what was in the corn dogs.

I wanted to order the tuna sandwich, but I first asked the waiter whether there was any tuna fish in the tuna sandwich. He said that the diner was under new management, and the tuna sandwich no longer has tuna in it. As I write this, it sounds like the waiter was pulling my leg, but this was just the sort of restaurant where a tuna sandwich might not have tuna, and the waiter seemed quite sincere when he told us that the tuna sandwich was much better when it had tuna in it.

At most restaurants, it would be obnoxious to ask a waiter if the tuna sandwich has tuna fish in it. If the waiter had said, "Yes, of course, that is what the menu says", then I probably would have admitted that I asked a stupid question. But it turned out to be a legitimate question.

It was Jack Nicholson in the 1970 movie Five Easy Pieces who famously told an annoying waitress that he wanted a tuna sandwich with no tuna. I am afraid that my date thought that I was some crazy guy like Jack Nicholson. Except that she doesn't think that anyone is crazy, so I am just someone who needs counseling.